SUPER customer service from T-mobile!!!!!

Ok, fair's fair. I chose the "lets play global thermonuclear war" customer service option with them about a week ago when my cellphone with a Chicago phone number started acting up - I'd receive a call to my Chicago number dialed from locally, or SoCal, or wherever - outside Chicago. It would NOT connect. If I did not answer - ok it went to voicemail. But if I answered - dead air on my side and dead air on theirs, no voicemail.

Hell, most of the calls I get I really don't know WHERE they came from since they are overseas business associates dialing out (in?) via various VOIP gateways throughout the USA.

But I know for damn sure that when my biggest client whose phone is 480-21x-xxxx can't call me - this, I have a big big problem with. If she gets dead air instead of voicemail - this is not the image I wish to portray for my business. But I cannot change to a 480/602 number. Yeah I know there's that west-valley area code 623 but sorry, here's what I perceive:

In people's minds:
602 means you're established downtown Phoenix
480 means you live in Snottsdale or in Mormon. Ooops I mean Mesa. Or Tempe.
623... means you live in a trailer in the desert somewhere out west of downtown Phoenix.

Yes I know there are huge high value (well the value was high a year ago but I better stay on topic) gated communities out west BUT.... 623 is not the first three digits you want to send to convey an "I'm successful" message.

I keep my 312 Chicago number because well, I've had it forever and because its been the most "static" thing about my life.

Last week I got CRAP customer service from T-Mo. From their Snottsdale Fashion Square Store - buy a prepaid phone and airtime. And no, we won't pay for any of it and its your problem to tell your callers which new line to call.

Um, NO.

From their 611 customer service number - Mr P*** (wouldn't you like to know, readers), you are 4 days outside of contract so we'll be happy to port your number anywhere you want -- get this (because *I* didn't bring it up) -- "... if your balance is paid in full." Um HELLO? Bill was paid in full 5/13 and why would I stop? Not in a billion years would I deal with the AT&T Deathstar since they f$ck up everything they touch. Why on EARTH would I deal with the monster that ate BellSouth, AmeriTech, PacBell and Cingular when MCI still hasn't gotten its sh1t together 20 years after their mergers and aquisitions? Sprint just merged with Nextel and that caused BIG billing problems (but in my favor so I will never admit to them because they were WAY in my favor... I used to be a Sprint voice customer so um... not saying a WORD about it.)

Their legal department called me - and oh boy was it on the wrong day at the wrong time. I gave 'em the what-for and they said - fine, switch to Deathstar or whoever you want. I really thought it was over.

But I have to travel internationally and that's why I USE this DAMN GSM thing. If I wanted to travel exclusively to South Korea or Moldova I'd switch to Sprint or Verizon in a heartbeat. Markets that have Cricket or GhettoPCS (oh sorry I meant Metro) are using the same thing as Sprint and Verizon.

So two nights before I not only made sure my account was paid up, I flushed $200 more down the toilet. See I have business things going on at odd hours that make it damn inconvenient to look up which 800 number to dial followed by which access code and number. I'd crash my damn car trying to dial all that shit! Not only have my calling patterns change but I need to roam in yet another country than the usual ones.

Their legal department called this afternoon (5/23) wanting to know if the problem was solved. It took them THREE ATTEMPTS to succesfully connect. So - answer, "guess not..."

I am human. To most that know me, they know what a gigantic admission this is because I AM an arrogant SOB. The last time T-Mo's legal dept called I UNLOADED. So today when we finally connected I did the "right" thing and sincerely apologized to the guy.

This afternoon the troubleshooting got kicked up not just a notch but to 100% attention to MY problem. (Well, that's how I felt and it IS all about me, is it not?)

Test call from the guy (Jim) @ the Phoenix T-mo "switch." Ok, instructions to go to the the Scottsdale Fashion Square store for a SIM-swap. Test calls afterwards made on my account to the tech folk behind the scenes at the T-Mo store in Scottsdale.

While I was still in the store a call from the same guy at the PHX T-mo switch. "Stay in the mall about 15 mins. while we sort this out."

Um, no fucking way was I about to wait in the T-mo store. I had far more important things to do. I am not ABOUT to buy a new phone from a telco that says "just get a prepaid, shut up and pay for the minutes."

My SIM card was swapped without any question at the store. They said - you can hang here or at the mall for a few while we make some test calls.

I somehow wound up in the Oakley store. I saw Shaq. (Big huuuuuuuge yawn, the city of Tempe has hired him to be five-oh!) Yes that is Shaquille O'Neill or however his momma mis-spelled it in the picture!!!!



We made more test calls with the Phoenix T-mo personnel and the Chi-town T-mo personnel. They wanted me to do a phone call in and out of SoCal (thanx Hope and Jim for being good sports) to see what route that took. I'm pretty certain from what I overheard between their tech staff that T-mo-USA is a Cisco network.

I won't disclose exactly what I overheard that makes me think the problem is fixed. All that I *do* have to say is that - if you have a problem with a company and the front-line staff read "policy" ....... BE READY TO BITCH!

T-mo did me right today and kept me from going over to the Deathstar. It was really cool to see how it evolved once (a DAMN week later) they got interested in the problem.