Take this pill and lose weight - Alli hits the US market

Americans, who want everything NOW, have a pill to help them lose weight faster. In any drugstore you can see the big display for Alli. In some stores the display is the same size as a small car. (If you're the same size as the display, you're the target market for this drug...)

Here's the rub. You have to be very certain that you're going to eat low-fat diets. Why? If this miracle drug is in your system and you eat a high-fat meal you're going to shit yourself.

The warning label says as much. It advises that you should carry a change of dark-colored clothes with you when you first start taking it!

The well water on the farm in Uruguay had the same effect and it was much cheaper.

It's not just major league baseball that has a doping scandal...

According to a front page article on observa.com.uy, the statistics are in. This year's top substance that Uruguayan "futbol" players popped positive for in anti-doping tests was....

Bolivian marching powder.



Yup, that IS what you think it is. It's hysterically illegal - get caught with it and you WILL go to prison - but its also fairly pervasive.

The dude who went down for going down - released

Genarlow Wilson was released from a Georgia prison yesterday. His crime? At age 17 he was busted for having consensual oral sex on/with a 15 year old girl. He was pictured on cnn.com this morning with a big grin that I will not characterize with any hyphenated adjective ending in -eating.

The event was documented on videotape at a wild party that included alcohol and weed.

a variation on "almost" products like o'douls

I love where the rasta dude peels out at the end of the video... But the feisty old broad with the oxygen tank is even better.

Uncle 'Cid visits some mice

There are days that I want to be one of those mice. I also wonder if those are the same mice in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Food for thought on a Monday.

health insurance companies look out, there's new competition!

Looks like Jack Kevorkian got out of jail today. Unlike some of the doctor's patients, some of those patients in the care of big health insurers' computers don't choose to die...

When I die...

When I read this news story from today... I thought "Holy shit would that HURT..." That and its ghoulish and incestuous. He's outdone Ozzy Osbourne for gross...


LONDON — Keith Richards has acknowledged consuming a raft of illegal substances in his time, but this may top them all.

In comments published Tuesday, the 63-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist said he had snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine.

"The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father," Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME.

"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

Richards' father, Bert, died in 2002, at 84.

Richards, one of rock's legendary wild men, told the magazine that his survival was the result of luck, and advised young musicians against trying to emulate him.

"I did it because that was the way I did it. Now people think it's a way of life," he was quoted as saying.

"I've no pretensions about immortality," he added. "I'm the same as everyone ... just kind of lucky.

"I was No. 1 on the `who's likely to die' list for 10 years. I mean, I was really disappointed when I fell off the list," Richards said.

fuck them, I could write a show...

Sarah Silverman stars as a wacky airheaded JAP (her words!!) in a comedy show that gets a lot of play on Showtime-HD.

Her comedy is fuckin' great if you have a twisted sense of humor.

"All I need is the theater space and a bag of weed and a star..."