Ironic mass-mailed missive from a former employer.

I would have to say they did, yes. I didn't even need to open the email.

Incoming new toy - EV/DO wifi router from Cradlepoint

Oh boy, new toy en route. I need more bandwidth at home and I'm already paying for it through Sprint. This puppy allows me to share my Sierra Wireless 595U EV-DO device as a WIFI network. Going to be interesting to see what the upstream is on the connection. It'll also give me the flexibility - since it's battery powered - to take my wifi cloud with me on the road. (whoops, I guess this one is actually NOT battery powered now that a helpful comment got me to look more closely at the spec... but I can survive without that.)

T-Mobile has been so slow to roll out 3g and a wifi link to Sprint EV-DO will eke a little more functionality out of my smartphone.

It's also an interesting tech addition for going on sales calls - bring my own wifi with me provided I'm getting a strong EV-DO signal. What better way to promote your business than by broadcasting its name as an SSID in your client's office?

Unfortunately this device will not see any international travel, at least not to my most frequent destination - Uruguay*. There are no CDMA signals on the air compatible with either a PCS phone or an EV-DO device - GSM's 3G technology is technically CDMA but its on a different frequency speaking a different language.

*Well, if you want to split hairs the most frequent destination is Mexico but thats just a land crossing, no airport is involved. I won't spend the extra money each month for the international EV-DO roaming option because I just won't use it that much.

Wendy's - Genderfuck has now been added to the 99c menu.

The other day I happened to buy a large drink from Wendy's. The burger was ok but the image on the plastic cup was really just fuckin' disturbing. They clearly were shooting for a modern combination of socialist realism meets social realism. The socialist element of the shot is evident in the bright red hair, the same color as on the Chinese flag or the former Soviet star. The social realism element is that brave guy making his stand that it's ok to have that kind of hairstyle as well as possibly ambiguous genitalia. One can only surmise that for a truly realistic photo shoot they used a true fast-food-loving hermaphrodite.

sorting the mail upon returning home - damn, my dentist is HARDCORE...

Yeah, I actually got this postcard. However, it's from a local business. After all, it's highly unlikely that there's a dentist into scat in Phoenix or Scottsdale. LA or New York... definitely Amsterdam, but not in Arizona.

Seriously it's a reminder for a check-up for Shaggy. But I thought it'd be fun to crop and scan all the same.

For every solution there is a problem, or when does a $15 alarm clock become $50+?

Ok, so in Uruguay the appliances I bought are working out with mixed results here. The bug killers work great through step-up transformers that put out the 220v. No more fly paper. The occasional sizzle of a bug getting cooked but that's about it. These things are small, great, cheap to operate - but they would never sell here. There is just physically not enough room on the device to put all the warning stickers that the lawyers in an American product distributor's insurance company would require.

However, I've recklessly plugged them in and am using them. I don't have kids in the house, they are too high for my dog to be curious about ---- and most importantly I'm not STUPID about how they work.

The clock has been another story. A step-up transformer cannot alter that the AC power in the USA is just too fast, and the clock is a cheap design that uses the AC power for timing. What to do...

Return it is out of the question. Yeah, it was $15.00 for the clock. We've only just begun. I bought a step-down transformer that produces the equivalent of a car dashboard outlet inside the house. Then from Hong Kong I ordered this puppy:



Ebay rocks for crazy crap like this. Just like you can get a gizmo that puts a household outlet in your car here at Target or Radio Shack, they're available overseas. AUD$20.48 (that's australian dollars) later (or $17.80 in yankee money) inlcuding shipping, this gizmo is on the way. It'll output that 220v 50Hz power that the clock needs to keep time.

Fingers crossed that it produces a stable frequency over time. Yeah damnit, its rube goldberg but its fun.

Slingbox does Uruguay - I've created a monster

I know that when I lived in Uruguay, I'd have killed to watch five solid hours of American TV. But technology wasn't quite there yet, the slingbox had yet to be marketed and invented. I sure as heck didn't have the cash to afford what the bandwidth cost at either end.

Well we tried it from my friend Rodrigo's house, he's got a 1 meg download DSL connection there in MVD. That's pretty big, most users opt for 128 or 256.

In short - I created a monster. :) I'd no idea of his NBA addiction and giving the US version of ESPN to him was like giving crack to, well, anyone's kid. He was hooked.

Since arriving home I've walked in to find that my TV is watching sports in my absence. Or rather, my HD receiver is being remote controlled through the slingbox and is sending a 500kb/s stream south of the equator and rendering a quite-watchable picture on his computer. Naturally he already has his computer's video card using his TV as a display so he just moves the slingbox video window onto that part of the screen and its damn near EXACTLY like watching TV.

I'm having two more boxes installed tomorrow for him and another friend, then I have to worry about upgrading my DSL to support three simultaneous users. (Naturally I'm the 3rd - I watch TV from my cellphone and/or my office all the time!) Oh, and gotta get 2 more slingboxes off eBay...

The things we do for our friends... :)

that clock runs way fast on US AC power

So upon arrival back to the USA, on Wednesday I bought a couple of low capacity step-up transformers that change USA 110-volt power to 220-volt power. The bug killers work great through the transformers.

The clock on the other hand - not so much. It really does derive its timing from the frequency of the AC power! It's expecting 50hz and getting faster - 60hz - and in real life that means that an hour on that clock is less than that in realtime. I will make it work but the solution will be very much rube goldberg.

It's going to either go down the path of figuring out which IC chip drives the whole thing and taking a peek at its datasheet, then doing a bit of soldering if that looks promising (i.e. internally rewire the beast)

Either that or its going to be the rube goldberg route. Y'know how you can get those auto cigarette lighters that have a regular household outlet on the other end so you can power a small TV or charge a phone? Well naturally those exist in the rest of the world but in versions with those funky round pin'd plugs and most importantly, output 220v 50hz power.

Lot of bloody work to run a damn clock but it was a lot of bloody work to ship it halfway around the world too. :)

Porquerias de Uruguay

Or, translated, odds and ends from Uruguay.

Oh baby, I went SHOPPING before I left Montevideo. I went to one of the malls with a PLAN. First stop, the anchor store - Tienda Inglesa. Yep, they have a reasonably priced suitcase. Good. Tienda Inglesa is my last stop and I'm gonna fill that bag on the way to the cab.

I look to see what Tienda Inglesa has in the way of alarm clocks. Yeah I've got this weird idea in my head that I want an alarm clock that displays in 24-hour time. They have one possible item but I decide to look around in the mall a bit more.

Dinner. I get a chicken milanesa, french fries and some tomato salad with oregano. Yum. Diet coke and sparkling mineral water to drink.

Thus refreshed I go to Urban Outfitters. Yeah, same name but certainly not a franchise, just using the same name. Reasonably hip cheap clothing. Hard to find in my size but Augustin, the sales rep, helps me as best he can insisting on speaking English. I'd rather he talked in Spanish but I understand he wants to practice. I bought a pair of jeans and two shirts. They gave me a murse to carry it all in.. Nice. Never owned a murse. Not sure how I feel about it really.

Then I went to Mistral. Mistral is an Argentine clothing company. I bought a pair of shoes and a polo shirt.

Then chasing after that damn alarm clock. The Britania brand (brazilian made) runs on 127v and 220v. Chances are good it will work in the USA but its not displaying 24 hour time. Punktal is an Uruguayan brand. The clock is 220v only but displays 24 hour time. I figure, ok, will just get a transformer that will be that. There's no possible way it could be deriving the time from the AC power, not in this day and age..... So $15 spent on that.

Tienda Inglesa. Pre-packaged salamis. Adobo. Yerba. Alfajores of several different types. And - why not - a couple of small ultraviolet light bug attractors with high voltage grids to fry the little bastards. Yeah they are 220v but are rated at 1 watt.

I pay nearly USD$100 for the suitcase, the spices, the meat, oh yeah and a fucking "Pan Dulce" (fruitcake)... Done. I stuff it all in the suitcase outside the store and realize that I don't have any more Uruguayan cash on me. I hit a banred machine and get a thousand pesos. Now I have a new problem. Ain't no cab going to make change for a 1000 pesos note. Not gonna happen. So I walk up to the Ancap station north of the mall to the minimart and buy diet coke and sparkling water. Given the price they charge for gasoline (USD$6 per gallon) they damn right well will have change for 1000 pesos. Walk back to the cab stand and get back to the hotel.

At the hotel - message from Alejandra. Pizza at her house? It's 23:30 by this time but I call her back and get the address of the new house. Cab ride over and back plus my share of the pizza depletes that 1000 pesos jiffy-quick.

Crying about Argentina

I have decided that I am not fond of Buenos Aires. It's a very gritty place. But then, I landed hard. I got off the ferryboat with only 250 uruguayan pesos (about $12). I figured, no problem... there's an ATM inside the terminal. I'd tried in Uruguay to get US cash but BROU (Banco de la Republica Oriental de Uruguay) ATM's generally don't make nice with US bank cards and I'd not had time to hit a Banred ATM before leaving. Banred is the ATM network that's all over Uruguay, just not in the Montevideo ferry terminal.

Ok so no working ATM to get Argentine pesos. Uruguayan cash is pretty useless in Argentina. However did I mention having only 250?

BROU (the Uruguayan bank) has a little branch, more like a little bunker - inside the terminal. Its main purpose is to sell Uruguayan pesos to people going TO Uruguay. They had posted limits in their window showing that 300 pesos was the absolute minimum that they would change. I got in line anyway. The discussion went "Sir, you only have $250 I cannot help you."

I swallowed hard. The American urge to connect with that large inner black woman that every gay man has trapped inside him must be suppressed at all costs. "Sir, I attempted to use the BROU machine in Montevideo to get US dollars and avoid this. As often happens, it did not accept my American bank card." (As often happens? Shit... more like never happens... although I think that's because my bank is on Plus and not Cirrus. I seem to recall success with Cirrus but that's years ago.)

"But our limit is $300 pesos. You have $250." He gave me that expression that says, I'm going to follow the rules to the letter.

I double-swallowed hard because deep down I was pissed. But I will grovel if I must... "Sir, it's very close. Can you please make an exception?" I looked at him imploringly and hopefully not showing how pissed off and seething I was about their stupid minimum.

"Ok, give me your passport and the currency."

I'd won.

I got $25 argentine pesos and a few coins.

Then I waited for a cab for an hour. The cab driver was WAY too 20-questions for my taste. The vehicle license number matched the placard on the hood which matched the painted number on the door - so at least I was in a pretty good copy of an offically licensed cab. There wasn't room in the trunk for but one of my bags due to the bomb that all cabs carry - they run on propane so a rear end collision can be potentially spectacular. He wanted to plan out every frickin minute including "somewhere nice for dinner with girls" (oh boy not my cup of tea) while of course guarding my bags (danger!) in a parking lot and then taking me to the airport. I insisted that he take me to a limo terminal where there is a bus to ezezia airport. Much easier... Well he basically screwed me out of my $25 arg pesos but I could use a credit card for the airport cab. I'm 99% certain I came out ahead.

The ride to Ezezia was nice enough once we were outside central BsAs and on the freeway. The tolls from downtown to the airport are like $3 USD which is pretty high, but it's gotta repay the private company who built the freeway. The government sure as shit didn't build it!

The airport checkin process was positively soviet-style.... Take bags to counter. "You have one extra bag." "Yes, I know I need to pay for it." "Well we can't give you a boarding pass until you go over to the Delta office and pay the hundred bucks, they'll issue it there."

Go over to Delta office. Pay the extra $100 and get my boarding pass. Ok, so the three big-ass bags are gone. Now souvenirs for my neighbor's kids. Yeah I know I really should have gotten something in Uruguay but it never quite happened... better to just get something far more expensive in the airport in BsAs. I haven't looked at my bank statement yet to see what the shirts really cost but whatever. I signed for 'em.

Airport tax. For the privilege of driving on a nice freeway to the airport as well as all the soviet-style bureaucracy, $18.00 and a wait in a half-hour long line. Of course it can be paid with a credit card BUT if you do that it has to be paid in ARG pesos (which winds up being 56.70 of that itchy 'n scratchy money.) That also means you get to pay 3 more percent to your bank because the transaction is not in US dollars. Nickels and dimes...

Had I known the credit card charge for the airport tax was going to be in ARG pesos I'd have hit a machine and gotten the cash. Oh well. I knew full well that the only entity that accepts cards inside the transit lounge is the duty free store - but they don't give you your purchases until you board the plane. It's not like they have anything truly edible anyway unless you count chocolate, nuts, candy etc. I knew there was a cafe but that it was cash-only.

"Security" was next. I didn't intentionally do this but discovered AFTER I'd arrived in Atlanta that a whole full .5 liter bottle of water had made it through.

Immigration. Going from Uruguay to Argentina on the boat does not necessarily generate the required info in the Argentine government's computer. At least not same day thats for sure. "When did you enter Argentina?" "Three hours ago." I got left with some Argentine government document that I'm not sure if I'm supposed to retain for my next entry or what but I got stamped as OUT of the country.

I didn't ask. Too tired and run down. I threw it away. Problem solved.

Check in at the gate. Get seated, manage to get connected to the airports overly fussy wifi for ten bucks for two hours.

15 minutes into sitting at the gate happily surfing the web like I'm actually in the first world, there's another "security check". They cordon off the whole gate area and kick out everyone who's seated. So much for using the wifi. I cuss out the girl who's asking me to move and get in line. Now at this point I've gone from suspecting I might have a cold with fever to being pretty goddamn sure. When you already have your papers in order and the person doesn't have to approve you or not - just root around your shit in a cursory manner. Oh yes, this is when you PUTEAR long and loud. It evoked some chuckles from the locals and confused expressions from the non-locals. When I got to the front of the line the woman searching my bag got a quick whispered warning about me and I had my best "just stepped out of a Stephen King novel" look on my face. The look through my bag was cursory - again, a half liter of water (god forbid) made it all the way to Atlanta.... But finally I could sit down and use another five minutes of my two hours before we had to board.

The flight back turned out to be full of mormon missionaries coming home. Uggggh. Later on after the flight it was particularly nauseating to overhear their conversation as they were waiting to clear immigration in the USA - tons of nice conversation about girlfriends back home, temple marriages I just wanted to ask them - how much money does your cult extract from those poor countries you visit? Of course there was a giant mormon temple right outside the international airport in BsAs, visible from the freeway, complete with a couple of American-style houses inside the razor-wire fenced compound. Blecch.

It would have been very easy to vomit on the missionaries' shoes. I was sick as a dog anyway. When the plane took off I realized I was feeling more than sheer exhaustion - it was the beginning of probably flu. I had a fever for sure but I wasn't going to say a damn thing to the flight attendant other than asking for another blanket. God forbid they decide I have a medical emergency and land the plane somewhere en route. Potential landing spots could have been Lima, Peru or Asuncion, Paraguay or Bogota. Not so much. Better to just deal with the fever. I popped a couple of advil an hour or two before landing to hopefully drop it enough to pass by any infrared camera in customs - with my luck, landing in Atlanta home of the CDC it'd kick off some Patient Zero scenario. Nah, all in my head. I always gravitate towards the worst case scenario.

But finally on Tuesday Dec 11th I cleared customs into the USA part of Atlanta airport and got me some breakfast and a blanket for the next flight.

Really good weather information for the expat residing in Uruguay

If you've made the move from the USA to Uruguay, you'll notice that there is constant weather information on broadcast TV. It's the temperature at the location of the TV station.

That's it.

What did you expect? It's a country of about 3 1/2 million people. They don't have the internal air traffic to justify a network of ground-based weather radars to monitor every little movement of the air.

However, there's an unlikely source of information available on the web. Hint: you're paying for it through what's most likely your very most expensive household bill - UTE. The power is coming - for the most part - from dams. They keep close tabs on rainfall.

Rather than wading through their site, here are the direct links.
http://www.ute.com.uy/novedades/Lluvias/Internet_inmet.htm
http://www.ute.com.uy/novedades/Lluvias/Internet_climerh.htm

Uruguay, indelibly

Ok, I got inked this evening.

Since 2004 I have wanted to have the sun element of the Uruguay flag put on my back. I was not sure about it until now.

1) It hurt like hell
2) It cost a thousand percent less than the USA cost of the same tattoo

Google the image of the Uruguayan flag and look for the sun, it's what I got. :-)

renewal of UY cédula as a "residente legal"

Piece of cake.

I went to Migraciones (DNM) at Misiones 1513 to get the piece of paper authorizing me to renew. Took 15 minutes at about 11 am in the morning.

Advice #1: Don't use the 0900 or online systems. Go get the number yourself, especially if you're there on a vacation. I awakened at 6:45, called the 0900 number for numeros urgentes at 7:15 and it said they were gone for the day. Nah... at 7:20 I was in a cab going to Rincón 665. I got a "number" (appointment) right away.

Advice #2: (opinion really) Why does everyone have such a preference for the office at Géant? If you're in the center of MVD its inconvenient. Yes Ciudad Vieja is a little gritty. That's why that "Vieja" part is in there. Yes, the area occasionally smells like piss. Rincón 665 is close to all the nightclubs and the pibes borrachos piss in the street. The office at Géant is in a shopping-mall environment and I guess it's great if you want to go to McDonald's afterwards. If you have to do/are doing business downtown it's bloody inconvenient, too. You had to enter ciudad vieja in the first place to go to DNM to get the paper authorizing you to get the "number" right?

Advice #3: "Numeros de emergencia" sounds like "Numeros de urgencia." A Numero de Urgencia (urgent appointment) is what you bought with your 150-odd pesos, right? If you happen to sometimes selectively understand Spanish while in government offices you just might consider walking forward when they call "Numeros de emergencia." They sound kinda the same if your selective understanding is fully functioning and it gets you to the front of the line when they call the Urgent ones a few minutes later. Not that I'd ever do that...