9 years old and has a friend with benefits

I was hanging with my friend Dara and her daughter Madeline today for lunch. Madeline is nine and she has some very interesting 9-year-old ideas about life. For example, puberty is a virus you should avoid catching at all costs because it will give you a fever. And she recently came home from time spent at her dad's house having followed a recommendation from her cello instructor to have a pad in between the instrument and her shirt.

The poor dear, her step-mom improvised with a maxi-pad. What's more she sent the poor child home with it stuck to her shirt! But I digress.

So Dara was trying to get a rise out of her daughter about a boys name written on a notebook with hearts around it. Dara wanted to know if he was Madeline's boyfriend.

Madeline vehemently denied having a boyfriend.

Those of you who know me know that I like to throw the occasional cinder block in the proverbial koi pond.

So I asked the Madeline this: if he wasn't a boyfriend, was he therefore a friend with benefits? I kept a poker face and watched Dara's reaction as she swallowed HARD to keep from bursting out laughing. I was awaiting the response. Madeline looked pensive and said "friend with benefits."

She clearly had no idea precisely what I meant.

Dara was maintaining good self control over either bursting out laughing or I don't know what, but her voice wavered a bit and said, "Well, Madeline, what kind of benefits do you get from (name)?"

And Madeline answered, "Oh, he carries my books, holds the door, stuff like that."

GREAT RELIEF crossed Dara's face and she put her head in her hands to giggle a second before moving on with lunch.