There's a special place in hell for insurance companies - kafkaesque billing

I have the misfortune of having had United Healthcare for insurance coverage. So with the new job I've switched to Blue Cross, but Blue Cross has decided to do an inquisition into all my previous medical records to fish for any proof of a pre-existing condition.

I wish them lotsa luck getting my records from December 2003 - June 2005. Uruguayan hospitals (it's all called a hospital even though it looks and acts like an HMO) don't really keep patient records. If you have a test or an x-ray - it's yours. They store very little and its your responsibility to keep all the paperwork together. I destroyed it all before I left the country, no point keeping anything. Any blood tests or anything like that really can't be trusted because they don't properly handle the reagents. Things that would get a CT scan in the USA would get an ultrasound in Uruguay. I actually had had an ultrasound done of my stomach and was joking with the guy doing the test asking him if the baby was normal and was it a boy or a girl.

But all joking aside... this is some fucked up stuff. So Blue Cross is doing the inquisition and will probably decline to pay a whole bunch of bills. My intention had been, ok, fuck 'em... I'm going to pay for one more month of COBRA coverage from my previous employer.

But I put it off. UHC's billing system is kafkaesque. If your payment is due for the month of March, the due date will be March 31st. You'll receive the bill mid-april. They will post the payment by the end of april. Crazy.

So last week before the calendar rolled over to may I called the two doctors in question to compare full cash price for service vs. the premium. The cash price was less. I was still having doubts about paying the bill, thought I should just do it.

I'm so glad I didn't. I got two notices in the mail today. One that the policy had been cancelled April 1st. The second was a bill for April and May. I AM SO GLAD I DID NOT SEND THEM A CHECK!!! I'd never see it back. As for their bill I will photocopy the cancellation and send it off return receipt requested. :) Byzantine.

Justification for the cancellation? Well your previous employer changed coverage, mumble mumble and its up to them to notify you what new option you have under Florida's COBRA law. Fucked up stuff...

I hope that someone, somewhere who works for an insurance company wakes up tomorrow morning to find that they've metamorphosed into a cockroach.