I miss Cronica

First of all, Cronica is not something green and sticky in a baggie born from stolen power in a basement.

Did you click the link? If so, you found out it's loud. Cronica is like Argentina's CNN except with a tabloid, national focus.

"Cronica News - the people's news. And now with more stories with all the updates! Stay informed every day with Cronica News!" The voice echoes on with more in the same vein.

Cronica is as subtle as a 65-year-old transvestite who's never touched hormones a day in "her" life. Every half hour there's a loud announcement set to martial music - similar to the one on the web site.

Then its all the chaos that is Argentina. I was chatting with a friend in Uruguay who just spent the weekend with his boyfriend in Buenos Aires. He sent me a couple of links about current events there and it immediately reminded me of Cronica. Everything is sensationalized.

For example, a current story is:
ULTIMO MOMENTO - "Chocaron dos autos en General Paz"
THIS JUST IN - "Two cars crash in General Paz"

Where the f*ck is General Paz? It's a major street in Buenos Aires.

Now, it's likely that they have video to go with that big red headline. If a camera happened to catch the crash, they would show it. If the crash were fatal and people were being flung through windshields to their death, they would STILL show it - probably in slow motion. They'd then interview a cop on the scene and cut to the uncovered bloody corpse(s) on the side of the road while the officer spoke dispassionately about what happened.

Then there would be a series of kidnapings, murders, hostages and sports. And it would start over again on the half hour.