Why?

Long story. Maybe someday I will post it here. Suffice it to say it started in a bar in Minneapolis. Anyway, after a few bumps and a lot of interesting experiences and a few more bumps... I live in Montevideo, Uruguay. The last place I called home was a farm outside Montevideo, and before that a suburb of Minneapolis. The difference is huge.

I am not here for religious reasons, nor do I care much for missionaries because they tend to ask for and get money that people would do better to spend on food or clothes.

In this country of 30% unemployment I somehow managed to find work and am employed at a local technology company. It's as fascinating at times as it is frustrating.

Thanks to globalization, a lot of aspects of living here LOOK exactly the same as in North America. City buses are reasonably modern. Show me a grocery store and I will show you its "discount card" in my wallet. You can recharge your prepaid cellular phone from some of the ATMs. McDonalds is, while not yet ubiquitous, here. But the culture is super different...

First thing an American needs to learn, or re-learn is... ladies first. Always. It's not like that in urban areas of the USA and public spaces very much have a first-come first-served eat-or-be-eaten rule to movement. Here.. boarding the elevator, getting on a bus, going through a door... ya better wait for the women or someone's going to say something to you.

Second thing is... the people that look old are OLD. I don't know why such longevity. My own parents are 60-ish and have seemingly incredible health problems. Here, the years between 60 and 70 are just more years to work... you're not truly old until you've hit 75 or 80.

Third... they think Americans are universally fat but turn a blind eye to the mirror themselves. Ok, so processed food will add weight especially if you eat it in super-size portions... but so will natural. Imagine eating a sandwich that is a piece of beef with no fat trimmed and that piece of beef has been soaked in egg and then in spiced breadcrumbs and then deep fried. But deep frying is not good enough... at the same time that piece of meat is in the oil an egg is being fried on the grill. When the meat leaves the deep-fryer it is then placed on the grill with the egg. The whole thing is served on a bun like a hamburger with a variety of condiments that always includes mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is practically a beverage here. Another favorite is a hot dog that has been wrapped in bacon, fried and then served with melted mozarella cheese. Naturally mayonnaise is added to this as well! There was one guy who frequented a roadside stand near the farm and ate two of these everytime I saw him there - but washed it down with a diet coke. Go figure...

Fourth... if you are tall be careful in the street. This here ain't no nanny state with a bunch of rules and there are lots of things set low to the ground.

Fifth... most of these people are po'. P-O, po'! The minimum wage is about USD$80 per month. They likely work 160 hours a month for that eighty bucks, too. The work force is relatively young. Looking at the classified ads is an interesting experience. Employers advertise whether the job is for a man or for a woman, the ages of the applicants they will consider, and generally stuff that would make a politically correct yank horrified. But that's how it is here. Literally any question can be asked during a job interview.

The disparity between wages and prices is astonishing and contributes to...

Sixth... Children live with their parents a long, long time. Multiple generations of the same family under the same roof is the norm. It is very expensive to set up your own apartment and its cheaper (and normal) for people under 40 to live with Mom and Dad. This ain't like the USA where parents buy ya luggage for your 18th birthday! But the fact is... if you are young and unskilled you will be making that eighty buck a month salary and there is no way you will be able to afford the hundred bucks a month that an apartment would cost you (not including electricity and telephone which will add up to another hundred bucks a month!).

Seventh... the birth rate is high. I don't know where they get pregnant living at home with one of their parents, but it happens. Perhaps it happens quietly? I don't know. But pregnant women are ubiquitous here. Ladies first goes double or triple for a pregnant woman!

Eighth... it gets COLD here in winter. Yeah there are palm trees, lots of them, and they are beautiful - in the summer. When its 1 C and the wind is blowing horizontal rain drops and has inverted your umbrella for the 3rd and perhaps final time in the life of said umbrella, the palms just look absurd. Cold is expensive too. Yeah, if you're here as a tourist you have no idea what it costs the owner of your hotel to keep your room warm. Suffice it to say, its expensive. Electric space heaters are a big fat no-no because electricity is more expensive here than in Chicago. You buy propane, heat only part of your home, wear layers, make dinner a lot in your oven, who knows...

Ninth... relax about the idea of crime, at least the Romancing-the-Stone type of lawlessness that lots of people think is pervasive in all of South America. Uruguay ain't Venezuela or Colombia. There are no guerilla forces here. (If there are guerilla forces here anytime soon, they will be driving BMW's and Mercedes and organizing via SMS because the general population just cast a resounding rich-people-go-to-hell vote and put a left wing national government in power, then for good measure elected mostly left wing governments of the Departamentos.) There were only a couple of kidnappings last year and those were the kids of rich locals, not foriegners. Do worry about your wallet or your car radio, but only to the same extreme as you would in New York City.

Tenth... it doesn't look like suburban anywhere. Wal Mart has not yet arrived. Lots of commerce is between people in their neighborhoods and local merchants. Every single store is a unique experience. Just about everywhere in MVD is pedestrian-friendly. And counterfeit is everywhere too... fake name-brands of all kinds can be had as well as the latest movies and games. It's not just on the street its in brick and mortar stores too! Bring two playstation II's with you if you come to visit - one to sell and one to get chipped using the proceeds from the sale of the other. Your second PS2 will fetch an astonishingly high price compared to what you paid for it and you can use that to stock up on a stack of all the latest pirated games.

That's all thats on my mind for tonight. Going to veg out now and watch baseball on DirecTV. ;)